It’s been a while and I haven’t blogged or opened myself up as I have been falling in love…. I bet you are wondering with who? What he looks like? Is he tall dark and handsome… charming… crazily funny and adores me….. ummm sorry to disappoint but I have been falling in love with myself.
This may sound absolutely ludicrous to some….. but how can you know what you want in life if you don’t even know who you are? In the past few months I have been lucky enough to travel around and spend 15 nights in Dubai with my beloved mother… it was fun but also I am use to my own space…. overall I had a beautiful time and got to relax… something that happens rarely.
I decided a few weeks ago that blogging wasn’t for me as I no longer had a passion for it, five minutes previous to me writing this I was lying down on my yoga mat on my floor listening to inspirational music to calm, relax and help with meditation. The whole point of meditation is to think of nothing… my brain does the polar opposite. I created a few techniques to keep me motivated over the last few weeks and one of them is breathing in positivity and breathing out negativity… I visualise this with colour… I breathe in pinks/yellows and orange mists and breathe out a dark black mist until this fades into a clear white. I feel like this is a cleansing of the soul and brain from pressure, anxiety and all the other daily stresses.
Currently with working towards the brand I have faced so many different obstacles and not ones that I thought would be an obstacle…so the designs.. prints and money and all that jazz is currently being sorted. Things are physically moving but the main obstacle is myself…. believing that I can create something so big scares me…. the thought of doing this alone scares me… the ability for me to pull this off scares me but in every great creation you HAVE TO BELIEVE….
I don’t know if you know anyone who is setting up a business or starting up something they have always wanted to do …. but it is really scary… I have the ‘support’ of family but I am walking this realistically walking this tight rope alone. There comes a time in everyones life when you have to let go of the safety net and do something that scares you…if your dreams don’t scare you then they are not big enough.
Do you honestly want to live with any regret? I don’t, so while I am young… and maybe even foolish I will attempt to live out all the things I wanted to do. This time last year I was in a job I didn’t like, I felt like I was wasting my talent and the worst thing about it … I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Then I decided to write down everything I wanted to do in my life and slowly tick it off…. I can’t believe at this point in my life I am sitting in my room on a Monday afternoon blogging about my emotions and working towards an outrageous dream that inshallah will become a reality very shortly.
I have developed a thick skin in the last few years, I don’t expect everyone to love what I create or do.. and I guess the best thing about blogging and you tubing is that SOMEONE will always have something to say… but people are always going to have something to say and criticise so I might as well do what I want and keep it moving forward.
Why don’t you sit down, turn off your phone and laptop after you read this and just lay like a vegetable on your floor in your room and think of nothing. Be at peace with yourself and let your mind just drain away all the negative energy and get filled up with all the positive happy things you want in life.
I had to fall back in love with myself to believe that I CAN DO THIS.. I WLL DO THIS.. all i need to do now is make it happen and keep things moving and stay focused. Sometimes I jump out of my bed like a jumping bean and other days lay their will self doubt so I made a positivity wall in my room.. this will be the first and last thing I see every morning which will keep me motivated.
My biggest fear is that everyone hates it, no one wants to buy it and I am shamed and pelted with tomatoes in the street because it’s just so terrible ( see right there… I just imagined that out loud and shared my self doubt… these are the problems because you let your brain get carried away!) Then on the other hand I’m like I CAN DO THIS… of course it will work.. it’s all a learning process and if we don’t step out of our comfort zone we will never achieve anything new.
In life my own worst enemy is myself, I will make myself cry, make myself laugh and push myself to limits I didn’t know I had. Overall I know what I want….that is happiness, health and success. Everything else will come to me.
I am not sure if you are familiar with ‘ The Secret’ but I have read this a few times before… I feel like this is my holy book of positivity and you get what you put out… so push out those positive vibes and deep the benefits.
I CAN
I WILL
I SHALL
…… NOW MAKE IT HAPPEN PEEPS!
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xoxo
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